just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
