need another drink. this is the easiest way
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
