So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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