why didn't you poke me back
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just pee around me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
