I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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