I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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