I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
