and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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