i need an iv and a liver transplant
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
