evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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