We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
