I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
