I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hippo gnu deer
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
