Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
