so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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