where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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