i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
