youre lurking in front of me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
