So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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