I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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