I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
