Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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