I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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