I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I puked a lego.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
