What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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