better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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