So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
sex in a hospital.. check
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
