Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
