Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
