i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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