I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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