I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize