this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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