Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
