I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
