I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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