You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
