I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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