I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
