You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
