No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
