im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
