Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
