dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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