and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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