Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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