i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
