I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
where am i from again
I could make wine with my vomit
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
