I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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