I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
