So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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