He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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