If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
